Wedding season is here….and if like most younger-ish adults, you’ll be going to one (or two or three or eight) this summer.
Drinking at a wedding is a big part of why you’re going to drive to Ashcroft in the sticky hot vortex of summer. But be warned, there is a fine line between drinking like the sophisticated Vancouver stud(ette) that you are, and being curled up under a table, topless, in a kilt.
Matthew Lynch is a veteran of 1,100 weddings (I don’t know if I believe that number?) and he has created the ultimate guide to drinking at a wedding. Follows this guys simple rules, and you’ll be sharing hilarious anecdotes with your cousin’s new wife’s aunt in no time.
Before the ceremony: preparation is key
The one major thing you need to do pre-ceremony is suss out the open bar situation. Well, you should get a gift and get your suit dry cleaned and a bunch of other crap, but as far as your drinking future goes, this is a big piece to the puzzle. Are we talking full-tilt open bar? Hour of cocktails and then a cash bar? A few kegs of homebrew off in the corner and seven cases of expired wine coolers? Do some recon and know what you’re getting into. Note: recon does NOT mean contacting the happy couple and demanding to know what sort of booze they’ll be providing you. Have some tact. Work through backchannels. In this case, “backchannels” constitute your meathead friend who is in the wedding party and definitely asked these questions already.
As for day-of concerns, lay a good base at breakfast (eggs and carbs in whatever permutation you prefer) and drink plenty of fluids. In this instance, fluids should not include Bloody Marys. Save it for the main event. Do feel free to get a flask ready if your intel has uncovered a somewhat restrictive booze situation, but in most cases it’ll prove unnecessary. Besides, nothing tastes grosser than a metallic swig of lukewarm whiskey that’s been slowly heating against your thigh as you tried to impress the one single bridesmaid with your “Cupid Shuffle” prowess.
Straighten that tie. Freshen that breath. Frantically scribble out a check because you waited until the last minute and the only stuff left on the wedding registry was three napkin rings and a zester. It’s wedding time!
read the rest of Matt’s tips on Thrillist and when the DJ plays “Shout” make sure you’re sober enough to get way down low when they sing, “a little bit softer now….”