Why is hotel sex more fun than regular old at-home sex?
There is something about being on holiday and checking out of life for awhile that is definitely appealing, and now researchers think they understand why hotel sex is better.
Researchers believe that right away, we are attracted to the novelty of staying in a hotel or different environment than we are used to. That causes a shot of dopamine to hit out brain. We humans, we loves our dopamine.
Ian Kerner is a Sex Therapist and says in the Huffington Post, “the novelty of the hotel room is going to stimulate dopamine transmission in the brain, which pays a big role in arousal and sexual excitement.”
Hotels also appeal to our five sense. They are (often) luxurious and comfortable places to be in.
“There’s a psychological mindset when people check into a hotel that they can pamper themselves. There’s something a little luxurious, languorous, sumptuous about a hotel that lends itself to feeling sexual.”
Kerner says that the stress-free living of a hotel room is crucial for sexual arousal, “for sexual arousal to occur, especially in women, parts of the brain associated with anxiety and stress need to turn off,” he said. “So I often advise couples to turn their bedroom into a love nest that’s free from distractions. I think a hotel — as a sort of generic luxury — automatically helps people tune out the anxiety. There aren’t photos of kids, bills that need to be paid, books that need to be read; you’re in a place out of time, out of your life. And the shutting down or the pushing away of that anxiety, creating a boundary of anxiety and stressors of everyday life, is going to contribute to sexual arousal.”
Ian Kerner has written a bunch of books on sex and relationships including the best selling She Comes First.
The Daily Mail breaks down all the chemical goodness going on in brains when we have sex.
CHEMICALS RELEASED IN BRAIN DURING INTERCOURSE
Dopamine is the pleasure high, the fireworks, our reward. It’s one of the most fundamental neurotransmitters we have.
The expectation of dopamine drives our mind to control our body to do things.
We think you wanted a coffee to perk yourself up, but in fact it was a dopamine cycle that kicked in to make your body get up and find a coffee to sate the dopamine expectation.
Serotonin is serenity, ecstasy and the state of grace.
It is the lingering pleasure sensation we get that is less intense than dopamine, but nonetheless a powerful driver for our behaviors. Serotonin is about feeling good, really good.
Oxytocin is the bonding agent, the cuddle chemical.
This makes us want to connect, physically, with another person.
And once connected, stay connected. One that men sometimes complain about ‘she wanted to cuddle, I needed to get to work’, and women too ‘… and then he just left me’.
Oxytocin can be easily fabricated, just with close contact to another human being.
Just twenty seconds of hug contact, even with a stranger, can dramatically boost levels of oxytocin.
The fourth chemical is a male neuro-hormone, vasopressin.
Vasopressin is the protection drug, one that kicks in to support feelings of possession and desire to thwart anyone else taking possession.
*** UPDATE *** Turns out my wife reads the CFOX blog.