The instagram account is called Bathrooms Of YVR and whoever this gal is, I’d like to give her an antibacterial soaked high-five!
This mystery woman (with a teeny tiny bladder) has taken it upon herself to visit various bathrooms around the city and rate them based on cleanliness, cost to use the bathroom (I’m assuming that’s based on how much food/drinks were consumed before paying a visit to the loo) and then an overall rating (using poop emoji’s of course!).
Even though this account dribbled into existence (sorry!) only a couple of weeks ago, it’s already amassing a lot of media attention, as well as local followers.
Why? Because it’s so damn funny, and to be honest, the reviews are spot on.
Grab a seat (or maybe hover over one?) and check these posts out.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Rating: /5 Cleanliness: /5 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ $ to pop a squat: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Ok so I don’t even know why I was here. Well, like, I do know why let’s be real. I was invited. But it’s a sports bar and I don’t really watch sports sooo… Why isn’t there a bar that just plays trashy reality TV?! RIDDLE ME THAT?! Anyways, this place has a pretty decent patio so it’s not totally horrible if you’re like REALLY?! ANOTHER SOCCER MATCH?! WHEN WILL IT END?! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Their bathroom though? Well, just look at that photo. It’s chaos. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ First of freaking all, THERE WAS NO HOOK. I had to precariously hang my tote bag off the corner of an ad. I should NOT have to MacGyver that shit. A basic hook will cost you about HOLD ON, lemme officially google this, $2.99 at @canadiantire! Two ninety fricken nine. And there isn’t one? IN-EXCUSE-ABLE. My bag is either going to drop to the ground which freaks me the hell out because again GERMS. Or the weight of it is going to prematurely swing my stall door open and nobody wants that. Especially when I’ve fully peeled off my body suit and am standing there half naked because SCREW THE CROTCH SNAPS and SCREW PULLING IT TO THE SIDE CUZ I WILL DEFS PEE ON MYSELF. HOW DO PEOPLE EVEN PULL THAT OFF? I AM SERIOUSLY ASKING THIS QUESTION. DM ME OR COMMENT ⬇️. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Anyways, SECOND OF FREAKING ALL, they must know that their garbage can situation ain’t working. Like, c’mon now, you can’t just add a second tiny bin. I don’t envy whoever has to clean up that nightmare. JUST GET ONE BIG GARBAGE CAN. Problem solved. You’re welcome. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Overall, this b-room ain’t scoring any points (GUYS, A SPORTS REFERENCE!!). Its only saving grace happens to be the ladies. We all bonded over raised eyebrows and disappointed sighs. It was magical in an awful way. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #bathroomsofyvr #vancouver #hgtv #review #canada #interiordesign #toilet #food #sports #dailyhivevan #lol #wtf #beer #vancity #interiordesign #decor #explorebc #huffpostbc #604 #instagood #rant #ladiesroom #discovervancouver #ctvvancouver
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Rating: /5 Cleanliness: /5 $ to pop a squat: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Ok, so you might be like, first Hawksworth now this? You some kind of baller? I WISH. I was invited to my BF’s family dinner. And did I maybe, perhaps, possibly knock over an entire jug of water, sending it flying to the floor, not 10 minutes into the meal because I eat like an untrained monkey? Maybe. Maybe not–I defs did and it was awful. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Anywaaaays, I quickly retreated to the washroom and HOT DAMN, it did not disappoint. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There are several individual bathrooms. LUXURY. And they’re not gender specific. THANK YOU. The only problem, right off the top, is if someone’s in one there’s no little “occupied” sign. And I hate just trying the door because you never know what you might walk in on if they forgot to do the latch. There’s nothing worse than locking eyes with a stranger as they pop a squat. Trust me. Another problem with no occupied sign is if the door’s heavy you might just ASSUME it’s occupied. And then you’re standing there LIKE AN IDIOT for an empty stall until someone in the line behind you decides you defs can’t be trusted to open a door and LO AND BEHOLD they were right. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Anywaaaays, everything in here is posh AF from the tile to the elegant taps to the marble countertop to the lights that remind me of Beauty and The Beast simply because I can’t look at a candle and not think LUMIÈRE to the WTF IS THAT WITH THE BLUE LIGHT COMING OUT OF IT?! It’s not a part of the toilet FYI. Is it a space age garbage can? A portal to another dimension?? A tanning booth for JUST YOUR HANDS? One of those shellac machines? OMG it’s not a fancy urinal where you have to get your aim exactly right is it?? IS IT?! Nope nope nope. It’s a hand dryer!!! And I don’t know if the blue light provides any extra sterilization but it sure did feel clean. And for once it didn’t blow the skin right off my bones. SCORE. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Overall, this is a fab place to pee (or hide after you spill a shit ton of water in front of your BF’s fam jam.) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #bathroomsofyvr #vancouver #review #canada #bathroom #nightingale
A photo posted by Bathrooms of YVR (@bathroomsofyvr) on
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Rating: /5 Cleanliness: /5 $ to pop a squat: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I hate bathroom keys. Actually I don’t just hate them, I despise them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Kay here’s problem number one. They’ve GOT to be covered in germs. Like if I were to stick it under a microscope it’d probs look as bumpin’ as that underground rave in the Matrix Reloaded WHICH I WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER CUZ IT’S THE SCENE WHERE NEO AND TRINITY HAVE THE TAMEST MISSIONARY S-E-X OF ALL TIME AND MY DAD COVERED MY EYES. REALLY DAD?! IN A PACKED THEATRE?! IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING OMG. Anyway, the point is it’s probably crawling with germs upon germs upon germs. Like a full-on germ orgy. And honestly, do people ever clean keys? Just think about it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Problem number two. The keychain is an oversized antique key which WOULD be cool if it didn’t weigh a HUNDRED TRILLION POUNDS. They may as well just attach a real-life anchor. Or a grand piano. Or a sack of sand. Or a bag of groceries where you’ve stupidly grouped a jug of milk with a bunch of canned beans. Point is, I should NOT have to LUG THE DAMN THING FROM POINT A TO POINT B. Can’t it be attached to, oh I don’t know, a feather duster? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Problem number three is a doozy. I COULD NOT GET THE KEY TO WORK. I repeat, I PUT THE KEY IN, TURNED IT AS ONE DOES AND NADA. I tried everything. Jimmying it this way and that way and this way again. Holding up the heavy keychain with my spare hand IN CASE THAT MADE A DIFF. Pushing the door with my foot as I turned the key. NOTHING WORKED. So what did I do? I sheepishly interrupted a TOTAL STRANGER and was like, hi hello sorry but can you OPEN THIS DOOR SO I CAN SQUEEZE ONE OUT PLZ AN’ THANKS?! And that kind, handsome stranger got it to work on the first go. Of-friggen-course. But IN MY DEFENCE he said it was finicky. Gawd, whatta nice guy. We’re dating now. JK BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A ROM-COM. #Iwish #JKagain ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Overall, the bathroom was pretty whatevs. I just…I just can’t with that key. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #bathroomsofyvr #toilet #rant #review #vancouver #tmi #explorebc #coffeeshop #funny #coffee #key #funny #wtf